


HANDS

by futurephan



Category: Phan, dan and phil
Genre: Deaf Phil Lester, Highschool AU, M/M, Mute Dan Howell
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-08-24
Updated: 2017-10-10
Packaged: 2018-12-19 09:31:49
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 6
Words: 2,344
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11894901
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/futurephan/pseuds/futurephan
Summary: ❝-hi my name is phil lester and i'm deaf ❞





	1. ♂ 0.0 ♂

**"okay, thankyou all for coming."**  the principal speaks, but phil lester can't understand a word he says.

you see, phil lester is deaf. for the last 10 years of his life he hasn't been able to hear anything, anything apart from the constant annoying ringing sound that seems to follow him anywhere, he doesn't know how he hasn't lost his sanity yet.

back to him being deaf, the doctors aren't quite sure what happen but they think some kind of trauma caused it. but once again, they don't know what caused it. it could have been anything from a car crash to a gunshot, but nothing like that had happened.

all they do know is that he started to go deaf after his mum died, at the start they thought he was just ignoring everyone, like a coping mechanism. but it wasn't, it was far more serious.

back to the present.

phil was pissed. 

the reason he came to this school was because his last one was having a hard time teaching the first deaf kid they had ever had to teach. this school was supposed to be a bit more, helpful. 

this school had recently created a program for people who were either deaf, mute or blind. and so far they were doing a shit job.

they even specifically told everyone in said program to be seated at the front. what was the point in doing that if they didn't translate anything for them. like stated before, they were doing a shit job.

that was until someone, from phil's row, stood up and walk to the podium. the person then proceed to sign for the principal. 

 _thankyou daniel,_ the boy, daniel, translates for the principal.

 _daniel,_ phil spells out with his hands. he smiles at this, he liked how it felt to sign dan's name.


	2. ♂ 0.1 ♂

  
_"everyone in the dmb class please stay behind."_ the principal then turns to daniel, he shakes his hand and proceeds to walk off.

dan joins the rest of the class, sitting down next to a blond haired girl. they converse in sign for a bit before a teacher joins the class.

 ** _"hello, i am mr.jones,"_** he speaks and signs at the same time,  ** _"if you would all follow me, and if you are assigned to a buddy, please help guide them."_**

everyone stands up and a few people link arms, the class then proceeds to follow mr.jones out the door.

♂️

they arrived in a small classroom, the blue plastic chairs were already set in a circle.

**_"please be seated."_ **

the class sits down, waiting for their teacher to say or sign something else.

 **"okay, like i said before, i am mr.jones. i have been teaching students for nine years now, four of those years i have been working with children who are either deaf, mute or blind."** he looks around at the class.

**_"so who here can fluently speak english?"_ **

five students put their hands up and the teacher nods.

**_"and who here can sign?"_ **

twelve different students put their hands up.

**_"out of those who can sign, who can understand english by ear?"_ **

ten students put their hands down. the only people with their hands up now was the brown haired girl next to phil and the daniel boy from earlier.

**_"okay, now we are going to around and introduce ourselves, in sign or english -i will translate for everyone else."_ **

the person next to mr.jones stars.

_"hi, my name is louise and i am deaf."_

phil recognises this as the girl daniel was signing to before. mr.jones translates her sign to english and the introductions continue.

before he knows it, it's phil's turn.

he starts to sign, " _hi-,"_ but his hands.

phil doesn't know what's happening. his hands curl up on their own and start to shake, his veins seem to pop out more than usual.

phil doesn't know what to do. he just, stares at his hands.

 _"are you okay?"_ mr.jones signs, but phil does not see the question he was just asked.

tears slip down phil's face as his breathing hitches. and then short sharp breaths follow as his hands shake on their own.

he shakily looks up from his hands shakily, his eyes meet someone's. daniel's.

**"help me."**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> key;  
> bold= spoken english  
> italics= signed english


	3. ♂ 0.2 ♂

**"what's happening?"** a few people ask, as they could not see what was physically happening to phil, they could only hear him groaning in pain.

mr.jones is panicked, everyone is panicked. he quickly makes his way to the other side of the room, picking up the corded telephone attached to the wall. he dials the number 739 and it rings.

it rings for what feels like eternity, the annoying echoing piercing everyone's ears. everyone 's apart from phil's -even those who could not hear could picture the sound in their head.

it was like phil was trapped; he had no control over his body. his hands curled without him meaning them to, causing painful cramps; his whole body shook.

he felt like he was out of control.

he  _was_ out of control.

someone finally picks up on the other side of the phone.

mr.jones lets out a thankful sigh, quickly cutting to the chase.

**"hello this is fir-"**

**"hi, there is a kid here, um phil lester. he needs help. we don't know what is wrong."**

the lady on the line senses the rising panic in his voice. 

**"okay, i'll send someone down right now. please stay on the line in case it gets more serious."**

_but it is serious!_ mr.jones feels like yelling back, but he doesn't. he places the phone on a desk and makes his way back over to the broken boy.

he doesn't know what to do. no one knows what to do.

 **"dan, can you take me to him?"**  a girl speaks up. dan is confused as to why she would want to go to him, but he obliges. 

he holds under her forearms, slowly guiding her from the chair to phil. dan places her hand on phil's shoulder to indicate that she was in front of him.

there was no way she could communicate with him, as she didn't know sign and phil could not here. but she reaches up to his trembling forehead and places her thumbs on his temples. slowly massaging, trying to calm him down.

from her perspective, he is hurt and is panicking from that hurt. 

phil just thinks they are just crazy. he has no idea what the brown-haired person is doing. but he doesn't have any way to tell them to stop, so he just leaves it.

he calms down, slowly. the excruciating pain is still there, but he isn't wailing like before.

phil closes his eyes and focuses on the hand massaging through his hair, and he hates to admit it, but it is soothing.

before he knows it, he is being picked up, and the warm hands are no longer connected to his forehead.

 

and that upsets him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> well this escalated quickly.


	4. ♂ 0.3 ♂

phil ended up going home early. the school nurses didn't know what to do, so they had no choice but to wait it out.

after he had been able to control his hands again, they called mr.jones up to ask some questions. there was a loud knock on the door, which made the darker lady at the bench jump a bit. 

 **"it's open."** she called, standing up and brushing the imaginary dust off her pants.

mr.jones closes the door behind him and sits down next to phil. he was still in a minor state of shock, no one could have predicted what just happened would happen.

whilst mr.jones checks up on phil, the nurses continue to scan his medical records, but nothing that was on there could have caused what just took place.

the nurses end up follow the same thinking path that the brown-haired girl did. because of phil's past anxiety issues, they assume that he had just gotten out of a severe panic attack.

but that didn't explain why phil's hands still ached.

♂

the car door slams behind phil as he makes himself comfortable in the passenger seat of the car. his dad following suit but in the driver seat.

the seat belts click and he pulls out of the school parking lot.

phil can sense the tension in the air, he knew his father was going to snap any minute.

they stop at a red light, and like phil predicted, his dad snaps.

phil didn't know what he was saying exactly, because his father is using spoken english, but he can partially read lips.

 **"you useless...wish i never...stupid whore."** phil looks away, what he could understand was too much for him to handle at this moment.

the yelling continues the entire trip, and it is times like this that phil is happy to not hear. 

silence falls as they pull into the driveway and phil makes his way out of the car. his dad looks at him with an intimidating stare and phil looks back.

 _"stay in your room and don't bother me."_ his father signs.

phil sends back an  _"okay."_ before making his way to the door.

his dad slams his door and locks the car. he mumbles something under his breath, something that a phil wishes he could hear.

 **"i wish i didn't miss."**  


	5. ♂ 0.4 ♂

phil has trouble sleeping that night. his mind clouded with thoughts of the day that just passed, the little time he spent at his new school and daniel.

_especially daniel._

he tosses and turns for hours on end, wishing the brown eyes and wide smile out of his head. 

but phil could feel himself falling.

he  _was_ falling.

drowning in his emotions, sinking to the bottom of the sea. daniel had saved him, pulled him from the depths, the salty tears detaching from him as he was saved. 

he resurfaced, clear of worry. but then as he stared into daniel's eyes, he fell again. he fell for the warm brown that reminded him of autumn and the soil that crunches beneath your feet as you travel. the eyes tinted a hickory as rich as the earth's soil.

he fell, he fell and he fell.

until he hit the ground

♂

school the next day was... close to unbearable, to phil at least.  

it felt like everyone was staring at him the entire time, like their eyes were magnets and phil was a walking piece of metal.

but who could blame them? he was no know as 'the boy who almost had the hospital called to the school on his first day'. a title that he didn't really like, or appreciate. but one that was better than previous nicknames.

the first class of the day was art, so he didn't need anything from his locker.

he  made his way to the large classroom where a teacher greeted him, in english, and showed him where to sit.

phil makes himself comfortable on the cheap chair and looks around to see who was at the table.

across from him was a dark haired boy, a broad smile was planted on his face as he chatted to the brown haired girl next to him. phil remembers the boy as miles, but he does not recognise the girl.

the seat to his left was empty, but the one on the right was occupied with a purple haired boy who was signing to the person next to him. 

the purple haired one must have felt phil staring, so he turns around and phil is greeted with a warm smile.

 _what is with everyone and smiles?_ phil thinks.

 _"hi, i'm thomas  and this is my friend joan."_ his friend, joan, waves from behind.

phil  _tries_ to give back a smile, but he can't seem to do it.  _"hi i'm phil and"_ phil stops in his tracks, noticing the shirt thomas was wearing.  _"you like blink 182?"_

_"yeah, they are one of my favourite bands. joan introduced me to them a while ago and i fell in love instantly."_

_"that is so cool, i love them too."_

they converse about bands for a while, and phil is informed to use they/them pronouns for joan.

the teacher claps her hands in a pattern that some of the students repeat. she then clears her throat.

**"is daniel howell here?"**

 

 


	6. ♂ 0.5 ♂

most people look around the room, trying to spot a wild daniel. 

louise puts her hand up,  _"he messaged me before, he said he was going to be late."_

the teacher sighs and checks her watch. she pulls out a whiteboard marks and starts to write on the board.

 **'jackson pollock'** was scribbles in bold letters. the teacher starts to write more, but a loud knock on the door makes her stop. she walks over and unlocks it.

dan walks in, his hair was a mess and he looked like he just ran a mile.

 **"finally nice of you to join us."** the teacher jokes,  **"i need you to translate whilst i give a demo, is that okay."**

dan nods and walks to the whiteboard. 

 ** _"okay, welcome to art. i will be your teacher this year. my name is mrs.beck."_  **dan quickly translates her words right after he speaks.

they explain who jackson pollock was and what he did, then the teacher gave a demo of what they were going to do.

phil loved art, it was something for himself. something he could use to let his emotions flow.

mrs.beck sets up the paint at different tables for the students to get started.

the people at phil's table make small talk (or small sign) whilst they work.

phil turns to dan, who was now sat at his table. he taps him on the shoulder to get his attention.

 _"thankyou for helping me the other day."_ phil signs.

dan looks confused at this, he doesn't know what phil's talking about. so he confronts him.

_"what do you mean?"_

_"you helped me."_

 

_"but dodie was the one who helped you."_

 


End file.
